My Typical Thursday nights

Let's discuss my life, or at least my life on Thursday nights from 6-10 p.m.  Every Thursday night I have school at University of Phoenix.  I have been going there for about a year now, and have a little over a year before I graduate.  Anyways, the real point of this specific blog post is that I feel the need to discuss the events of this specific Thursday night.  First of all, seeing as I am majoring in Software Engineering, I expected to obviously be majorly out numbered by men in all of my classes.  Let me tell you, I have been the only girl in every class since I have started there.  This is totally fine with me, seeing as I usually feel more comfortable around guys anyway, besides my good girlfriends.  Anyways, tonight my teacher decided since it was the last week, that he didn't really feel the need to lecture about what he was supposed to, and that he had made a list of controversial topics and we would discuss.  Seeing as we are a classroom of geeks, the first subject of course was android versus iOS.  Totally normal.  We went through a bunch of other subjects, and eventually my teacher brought up video games.  From here, I learned way more about MW3 (Modern Warfare 3 for you amateurs) than I think I ever needed to know.  Of course, he then brings up the subject of social networking making people less prone to actual socializing in person.  The only part of this conversation that I enjoyed was the discussion of how boys (men is a questionable term in this case) spend all of their time playing video games and forgot how to take a girl on a date, or simply lose interest in such a thing.  This made me laugh and of course my teacher basically asked my "female" opinion on every subject, I think mostly just to make me feel involved in the male-dominated discussion.  I am not saying that all guys are like this when it comes to video games, but it is something to think about....one of the most common arguments is that staying at home and playing video games is cheaper.  Really?  If you hadn't bought all of those video games that cost an average of $60 each, then maybe you would have money to take someone out to dinner.  That is my viewpoint on the men staying home playing video games instead of socializing with the world situation.  I know that not all guys are like that, but I just felt like vocalizing my opinion as well as sharing with the world what my typical Thursday nights are like...in a room full of men.  I know, it sounds like a pristine situation, but all of them are married. That is all.  What I learned tonight is that MW3 apparently, rocks.

Resolution

I am totally guilty of following the New Year's trend of making resolutions for the upcoming year.  For some reason this year, New Year's, or the holiday season in general, has really gotten me thinking about goals and the future, so I apologize in advance for the previous posts being so serious and contemplative, as well as the one I am going to write now.  But hey, it's my blog bitches, and I'll write whatever I want. K thanks love you.

I'm going to be honest, 2011 had some good memories, but major parts of it were not the best of times. I mean, all I really did in 2011 was get away from Red Robin, a three year hell hole of my life.....technically, it was December 26, 2010, but who's counting? Since it was the end of 2010, I just moved it over to my 2011 list of accomplishments....mostly just to make that list longer. Seriously though, I am really thankful for my job.  It may only be doing customer service, but it has introduced me to a great company, with great pay, benefits, monthly bonuses, and opportunity to move up.  This is a new path for me, career wise, and I cannot complain, even if my job seems tedious sometimes.  When I get grumpy about it, I just picture myself carrying a tray of burgers in baskets, while wearing khaki's and a polo with grease stains, and 13 hours on my feet with only a half hour break, and I snap out of it pretty quick.

I also re-enrolled in school, after my several year detour of attending school on and off during my "Rebel / Who am I? / What do I want to do with my life" phase of my life.  Typical phase that most people in their young 20's go through I think. Or even 30's or later for that matter.  There is no conventional time when it takes place; it is different for everyone.  Lucky for me (sarcasm), this phase lasted about 5 years. Unless you're one of the lucky ones who knows exactly what you want to do.  If you are, I highly dislike you, you lucky biotch. Anyways, turns out this period of time (the last few years), at least for me, didn't really answer any of those questions I had hoped to answer, but I did make memories, add more friends to my life-long friends list (I am lucky), and made mistakes that I learned from and will never forget.  However, I am happy to be out of my "Live for the moment, figure it out later" phase. I guess this is probably my biggest accomplishment for 2011. Even though I am still unsure exactly what I do want in life, or where life will take me, I feel as though I have a general path and have things to work towards. As long I am doing what I feel is right, I can't screw up too badly, right?

What else did 2011 consist of for me?  I did some volunteering.  I quit drinking.  I started following a budget and making financial goals. Now that I think about it, I guess I did accomplish some things in 2011.  Maybe it wasn't such a waste of time of a year as I originally thought it was.  I took up cooking, re-visited my love for reading and dabbled in some crafting.  I wrote a website from scratch.  I took a lot of time for myself and had no boyfriend(s).

So now, 2012.  Something I have realized as of late, not to sound cocky (okay maybe a little), but I have a lot of talents.  The problem is that my talents are so diverse.  I can now see that this is why I had the hardest time deciding what to major in for college.  I still don't even know if I made the right decision, but hey, I made a decision, which is more than I can say for myself previously.  I'm a computer geek who loves crafting, could spend all day in a Starbucks (drinking anything but coffee because I hate it) reading or writing, working with less fortunate people, especially kids, total math geek, fashion and make-up, volunteering to make a difference, nutrition and healthy cooking.  The problem is that I don't know what I am most passionate about. I suppose this will come with time.  There are many things I want to do on my so-called "Bucket List," which, unfortunately, I think has become a trendy thing to do.  Some people write things on theirs like meet Paris Hilton or, literally the other day I saw someone on Pinterest write "Eat an entire pizza by myself" on her bucket list. Really? This is why I say it has become trendy; but I actually am serious and have put a lot of thought into mine, not just on a whim.

I think my real resolutions for 2012 are to continue developing new hobbies and I know that whichever one I am most passionate about will become more apparent with time, not like I have to focus on just one, but I know there will be one that I have the most passion for. Also to continue working to finish my Bachelor's (Spring of 2013, hallelujah), get back to my religious roots, and just start taking more chances and doing more actions instead of all talk.  The past five years of my life has been talk talk talk about things I should be doing, want to be doing, could be doing better, might like to do some day, and now I'm ready to do.

P.S. Potential boyfriend applications can be e-mailed to jannaldav@gmail.com

It's NYE, peeps. Incase you didn't know.

Oh, New Year's...... does anyone else find it completely ironic that New Year's is the time we are supposed to be setting new goals and trying to better ourselves for the upcoming year, yet probably 80% (or more) of the adult (or teenage) population is out trying to forget all their problems by getting drunk? Kind of funny if you ask me.  Not that I have anything against those that choose to drink on New Year's, or in general for that matter, I have definitely been there and have absolutely nothing against people who do. Plus I enjoy watching trashed people because it is downright hilarious. Then again, I can't think of one Holiday that hasn't been corrupted or commercialized at this point.  Good thing that my family always does the cheesy traditions that actually make us remember why the Holiday is even celebrated.  Thanks Kenda and John for that one. (That may sound sarcastic, since that is my usual tone in most everything I say, but I actually am serious.)  My New Year's will be spent going to PF Chang's with my close friends for some delish chinese food and kickin' it low key. I cannot help but think of Hangover 2 everytime PF Chang's is mentioned.

Alan: (as they are walking through the temple) What is this, a PF Chang's? 

So hilarious.  My love for completely bizarre, inappropriate movies is enriched by watching that movie.
Anywho, on a more serious note, or maybe not so serious, depending on your response, what are everyone's New Year's resolutions? On a serious note, I think my main one is to stop talking about everything I want, and actually do something about it. Less talk, more action peeps. As Nike would say, (as if Nike is a person) Just Do It!

Sidenote: my previous post was done at like 3 a.m..... instead of sleeping, I decided to write my thoughts about every single thing going through my mind about my life. Coincidentally, my racing mind was the cause for not being able to sleep. Crazy, right?

Everyone (and by everyone, I mean the 3 people who actually read this, if that) have a fun and safe New Year's!

Disappearance

My disappearance as of late from the blogging world is quite an understatement. Needless to say, the past year of my life has been one of the weirdest ones yet. Still awaiting the verdict from the jury whether this is good weird or on the contrary. A lot of change has taken place. Change in my surroundings. Change in what I am becoming. Just change. And a lot of it. I feel like I am at a better spot in my life now than I have been in quite a few years. That doesn't mean that I'm also not more lost than I have ever been. Change brings uncertainty, which isn't always necessarily a bad thing, but not always a good thing either. Trying to find my identity as an individual and where my life is taking me..Hell, where I even want it to take me, while dealing with my insecurities and past. Sometimes change brings loneliness. In my case, it definitely has. Standing up for yourself, your beliefs, your life, it all can bring loneliness. If standing up for your life and where it leads you was easy, then everyone would do it. Majority of people fail to take control of their lives and settle with mediocrity. That is something I'm not okay with. I take pride in the fact that I am one of the strongest people I know. I may not have to overcome obstacles in my life like not having food or shelter, I have been blessed with a hard work ethic to keep myself above water. But I do face many obstacles that I face head on. Two years ago, I may not have been able to say that I know what I deserve in life, let alone fight for it. I have dreams and passions, and instead of spending my time in bars or getting drunk to try and forget the stresses of my life, I am facing them. This is more than I could say for myself five years or even six months ago. Instead of indulging in various unhealthy outlets that never lead to solutions or happiness, I am happy to say I am facing them in a healthy way. Wasted money and time on late nights out and days doing nothing but sitting at home watching Netflix feeling sorry for myself have been replaced with studying, reading, cooking healthy foods, volunteering, exercising, and looking for new interests. I have a long way to go and much to work on, but I am proud to say that I am happy with the path I am on. I am unhappy with where I am as far as my weight goes. Its a cloud raining over me that I have to make disappear or I will forever be drenched by this horrible feeling. I beat myself up about it too much, telling myself: "Janna how did you let yourself get this bad?" Diet and exercise is being re-introduced into my life, and even though I am extremely impatient and want results now, I know it will come with time and I will feel better.  I need to make many more improvements before I will even feel like I'm even close to being in the same realm as my full potential in life. Then again, what's the point if we don't always have something we are working towards? Sometimes many things at once, in my case especially. With this breakthrough and changes I have been going through over the past year brings up the question of where I really do want my life to go. I have a passion for computers, and am close to obtaining my Bachelor's in Software Engineering. Who knows, maybe a Master's degree will follow. I have various interests ranging from cooking and crafting to reading and writing, to computers and traveling. However, one of my passions that I hold close to my heart has always been volunteering and helping those in need. In high school I won awards for completing hundreds of hours of volunteer service, ranging from helping kids learn to read to math tutoring to helping handicapped kids play sports. I would really love to get involved in a program helping less fortunate children. I currently volunteer when I can at the Utah Food Bank, but I want to do more. I want to make a difference. However cliche this may sound, the movies Blindside and Finding Forrester, those types of movies inspire me. Helping a child who comes from nothing, but have so much potential, reach great heights. That is what I would truly love to get involved in. I know this is something I can definitely accomplish down the road. Right now my biggest obstacle is getting out of this anti social wall I have built up. In order to stay strong with certain choices I am making in my life, I have had to isolate myself. Now that I am a stronger person from that, I need to break out of this isolation, get out there and find those that have the same beliefs of me and actually make me feel uplifted. So many things on my mind, and much to work on. As always, I will grab life by the horns and tread on. That is my soapbox for now. I have faith that by keeping myself busy with uplifting activities that are healthy for me, I can reach my potential, and I will eventually find what it is that I want for me in this life. I know that things will happen just as they should be, and I am a lucky girl to realize now all the good things this world has to offer, while drowning out the bad, before it's too late. Less talk about what we want, more action that demonstrates what we want. Okay, end of soapbox/summary of my life, thoughts, and feelings for now. I know it will all work out if I have faith.

update is much needed.

oh my.  Life feels like it has been going so fast paced for a few months that I just haven't had the chance to think about updating my blog!  Well, here I am.  For some reason I thought about it at 3 a.m. when I cannot sleep :).  perfect time to update.
well, my life......................I moved out of the condo with my brother, Jared, and am now living in a cute retro-inspired house in Salt Lake City.  I absolutely love my roomies!!!  I have really enjoyed having them around.  It brightens my day to live with people that I laugh my ass off with!  I feel like life is fairly content right now, besides a few things that I feel need to change.  First of all,  I really am not comfortable with the way I look since I have gained some weight, and I need to really work on that.  Janae and I went and got gym passes the other day, and I am going to begin to take full advantage of that.  Of course, the day after we get gym passes, I came down with a killer cold/cough and haven't been able to work out all week.  Hopefully by the middle of next week my cough and sinuses will calm down enough so that I can work out.  I used to be in such good shape and wake up everyday excited to go to the gym.  I need to get that energy and thirst for life back!  I know it's in me somewhere, but it's been lost for years so I must find it again.

The other thing that I feel like I need to change in my life is my job.  I am planning on going back to school in January and finishing up my schooling for social work so that I can finally get a job that I really want to do, but until then I need to find a different job that I can have while I go to school.  My current job is affecting my moods daily and my overall being.  I no longer enjoy going to work and am very frustrated with my work environment, the people, just everything.  I find myself being cranky all of the time, and I do not like how my job is affecting my life outside of work.  I need to find a 9-5 job, which would also be good for my sleeping schedule to have an earlier morning job.  Plus then my roommate Jordan and I will have the same hours and we can hang out every night :)!!!! 

Besides those two things, I can't complain.  Life is life.  We are all living one day at a time, trying to help each other find our way, and I am enjoying every minute of it.  Love my girls.  And my boys.  But moreso my girls!! :)

Kind of a lame weekend.....

Well....I ended up with a cough/cold this weekend. Sure does stink. I came down with it out of nowhere on Friday night/Saturday morning. I have basically been in my bed since Sunday! Back to work tomorrow....I have to train a new server at work tomorrow, so that should be fun! My weekend was good.....I worked Friday and Saturday, as usual.  On Sunday, I was going to go to church with my Ma for Mother's Day, but I was sick and coughed all night long.  We had a family BBQ on Sunday though, that was fun! And besides that, I have been at home resting.  I am much better, although I still have a little bit of a cough.  I did manage to get out of the house today though and run some errands.  I got my friend Shannon the cutest little lingerie for her Bachelorette party on Friday.  I can't believe she is getting married next week!  It's crazy how time flies.........

just lovely.

I just have to say that I'm so glad that I got to see Tyler today......he is doing so well.  Definitely worth taking a night off of work. He got his 30-day pin today, and I have to say that I am so proud. I saw him two days before he went to this center, and he is a different person. He has inspired me a little bit to stop drinking.  I have been cutting back already, but always room for more improvement! That is all. Nighty night.